An Interview with Lindy Neuhaus

Lindy and her son Bo

So I am finally posting my first interview!  I am very excited about this series, and its pretty much why I decided to start a blog for this campaign.  Of course I am doing this whole campaign in my mother's honor, but when I started to really sit down and think about how cancer, especially blood cancers, had affected my life, I realized it has saturated it.  From sad stories of loss of life through hopeful moments of those doctors and nurses fighting like he$$ to heal their patients.  The most amazing thing about all of the stories is that what these cancers left behind didn't destroy these people.  It made them stronger, and more vigilant than ever in their fight against cancers.  They did not and have not let cancer win.  Not a single one.  They are my inspiration for this campaign and I want to tell you about some of them here.

This first story is one of the most important to me.  Lindy and Larry Neuhaus are my Godparents. They are/were my parents best friends.  We did so much together as families growing up, and I have so many wonderful memories with them from Christmas parties, to bay trips, to regular old Friday nights eating nothing but chips and salsa.  But unfortunately during those happy times, there was much sadness mixed in too.  Lindy and Larry had four children, and in December of 1982 their second child, Bo, was diagnosed with a rare and highly malignant form of liver cancer.  Despite multiple surgeries and chemotherapeutic attempts to control his disease, Bo died 2 1/2 years later at the age of 12 years old.  But like I said earlier, they did not let cancer win.  Even though Bo's life was ultimately taken by cancer, the legacy he left behind and was cultivated by Lindy and Larry has left an impression on our community far beyond even what I think they had hoped to imagine.  Here is their story:

Lindy and me just days after I was born

Katie: How long have you known me, and for how long?

Lindy: I have known you your whole life, literally, because your mom was my very best friend forever! 

K:  Tell us a little about yourself…

L:  I went to UT and married my college boyfriend the week I graduated. 

We had 4 children, 2 girls and 2 boys. Life was good, very good. 

K:  When did cancer come into your life?

L:  When my 10 year old son, Bo, was diagnosed with a deadly type of liver cancer. 

K:  What did you think when you first heard that Bo cancer?

L:  We were obviously devastated. 

K:  What were the prognosis, and treatments like?

L:  The prognosis was that he had a rare and deadly type of tumor.  Rare in that there were only 60 cases on record and that there were no survivors.  We were told that he would probably not live for more than 3 months. We were fortunate because he lived for 2.5 years. He was on chemotherapy for all of those 2.5 years, but we managed to have some wonderful times during those years and we were grateful to have that time. 

K:  Losing a child to me would be the hardest thing I could ever imagine going through.  How did it affect your family then and for years to come? How have you all continued on as a family?

L:  Losing a child is every parents fear and/or nightmare.  It does affect everyone in the family, including the children, all ages.  One has to try to take care of the sick child and also the other three healthy children. It was a balancing act, for sure as one has to take care of each child, physically, mentally and spiritually. 

K:  Tell us about the book you and Bo wrote together and how that came about?

L:  The book was totally Bo's idea. An author had visited Bo's school, River Oaks Baptist one day and informed Bo's class that one could earn $800 dollars by writing a book.  He wrote the book during his last 6 months.  He was too weak to sit up and write so he dictated his story to me.  He had a devout faith and was not afraid because he knew that if he did die, he would be in heaven with Jesus. 

The book is called, It's Okay, God, We Can Take It.  I am rereading it for the first time as an adult, and as a parent.  I wish I had picked up this book when mom was dying.  The faith and strength that Bo has is awe inspiring.  He had so much faith that even when faced with his certain death, at 12 years old, he was not afraid, because God's plan is perfect and he knew it.  Where was that 12 year old boy to tell me that 18 months ago?

K:  You and Larry have made so many good things come out of such a tragedy in your life, tell us about some of those.

L:  God carried both of us through our grief journeys and God used our story to make good things happen.  We were just the vessels through which God worked.  Bo's Place happened because we were in the right place at the right time (re: God's perfect plan!).  We knew that children who had suffered losses, needed a safe place to share and heal their broken hearts. Camp for All was another way we could give back to the community, which had been so wonderful to us during Bo's illness. We were so grateful. 

She is being completely modest in her answer to this question.  The impact that these two organizations have had on our community are immeasurable.  Bo's Place is a free grief center for children and families who have experienced the death of a loved one in their immediate family.  They believe that it is helpful and healing for grieving children and adults to share their stories, memories, experiences, thoughts, and feelings with other grieving children and adults. Bo's Place has helped so many Houstonians travel through their own grief journey and have healed so many hearts.  Camp For All is, "a unique camping and retreat facility that works in collaboration with other non-profits to provide life changing programs for children and adults with challenging illnesses and special needs".  The facility is out near Brenham, Texas and is absolutely beautiful.  Kids can go out there and just be kids in a safe environment for a week.  It is such a wonderful gift that these camps give to over 10,000 campers each year.  

My parents with Lindy and Larry way way way back.  

Can you see them through all the patterns?  

K:  What role did my mom play for you during Bo’s illness and after his death?

L:  Ginger Upton and husband, Wade, were our very best friends and were always there for us during that time. We could not have made it without the two of them. Ginger was my first phone call every morning for 40 years. We completed each other's sentences. We shared many years of laughter and tears. She was the best friend anyone could ever have. 

K:  What was it like to then loose your best friend to Lymphoma?

L:  I honestly thought Ginger would beat that disease. She and Wade fought so hard. It was an amazing story of love and faith. Lindy, Katie and Wade never left her side during those 3 years.  It was a family affair and I felt privileged to be part of their journey.  I still grieve the loss and pray that a cure for these cruel diseases will be found, sooner rather than later.

So truly, when I have written about working on this campaign to honor my mother in a meaningful way, I learned that from watching Lindy and Larry Neuhaus and how they responded to their own tragedy.  If my black cloud's lining is now shining brighter through this campaign, then you must need shades to look in the direction of theirs.  They have been such an inspiration to me and I feel so blessed that they are my Godparents and still such an important part of my life.  

I hope you have enjoyed my first interview!  More to come so stay tuned. Also, don't forget if you live in the Dallas area, please plan on coming to our Crawfish Boil Fundraiser on April 24th at the Barley House.  And if you haven't already, please consider donating to my campaign by clicking on this link HERE, or the one in the menu that says "My MWOY Home Page" which will also take you directly to my personal donation webpage to help put an end to these cancers that try to take so much away from all of us.   Together, let's not let cancer win!

Lunch date selfie!